Today I have been thinking a lot about shoulda, coulda, woulda's. Reflecting back on my 27 years there are many parts of my life that I wish I could take back or re-do. First there was Jr. High. I enjoyed singing and acting, so I took drama classes and choir. If was fun. I did some plays, sang in concerts, met some good friends and had a good time. By my senior year in High School I decided I liked boys better. I didn't try out for any plays, didn't try very hard in choir and when I didn't make the highest choir I quit. Looking back I wish I would have done those things. I loved to act and sing, but instead I chose to be mad and never look back.
Then I went to college. I took up drama again. The drama club won an award for a play and was going to California to compete against other schools. I had the oppurtunity to go with them. I was the only student chosen by the drama director and I was able to go with them. It was so much fun! Which brings me to my next regret. Before this, I tried out for Grease. Recieved my name on the call back list and didn't go to them. Why the drama director invited me to Cali I don't know! I was surprised when he gave me a part anyways. It wasn't a big part, but a part.
While at college I mostly played and sometimes went to class. There were a few I had to drop and retake, a few I failed. Looking back, I'm not sure why I did this. I could have had so much more!
Then I got married. I sort of went to school, worked a lot, hung out with the hubby. Then I had a baby. Good times. Good times.
Now it's 2008 and I'm trying so hard to get my degree and wishing I would have done it before. I wish I didn't have these regrets about my earlier years. I wish I would have tried harder in choir, I wish I would have tried out for plays in High School, I wish I would have taken school more seriously. Why did no one tell me? Oh, I think my mom did, but what the heck did she know! Am I the only one who feels this way? I know I could have been good at all of those things, but now I have these regrets for not pursuing them and I'm trying to do it now. Now that I'm out of practice, old and fat!
16 comments:
oh Kasey, we all think like that, Hang in there, your doing great! I am very jealous about the Grease thing though (notice my blog)!
Casey- You are being way to hard on yourself! Instead of focusing on the would of, should of, could ofs think about all you HAVE done and accomplished! Look at that beautiful family of yours! I think as stay at home moms we all go through these little bumps in the road! But,the past is the past. When you are young it's all about having fun and boys. Nobody applies themselves as much as they should in highschool. But, the good news is it's better late than never! You should look into a local theater group or choir. Or start one! Don't let me fool you I have these same feelings every once in a while. But then I pat myself on the back for being a good mom, wife and homemaker. It's a big job we do and we should be proud!Hope you feel better!
I think you might want to take a another look at the situation. If your going to play the what if game. What if you did drama in HS you were amazing. You got the lead part in Grease became a superstar and missed the opportunity to meet your hubby that you love so much. There then would also be no kiddos. Hmmm...very sad. What if you never failed in colege always Aced your classes and had absolutely NO FUN! You wouldn't be able to have compassion for others in the same situation and you might still want to live out your youth. But, that is behind you and now your a wonderful wife, sweet mommmy, and a determined student! Not to mention because of all the things you went through you are now ..YOU! Which I think is pretty great! I gave up on regrets awhile ago. And, if it makes you feel better Adam still has 6 years of schooling left!...WOW...better late than never!
I totally feel the same way! I too took drama in Junior High and made spotlight drama in high school and I loved it but I quit because it wasn't cool. I then took dance which was fun but I wasn't good enough to get past intermediate dance. And I too totally messed around in college because I was too interested in boys. I wish I could go back and slap some sense into myself. Having lived and learned though, I am firmly convinced that I will teach my children to focus on their goals and to work hard in school and most importantly FINISH COLLEGE! I already tell them, you're going to college. We can pass on what we've learned, and maybe someday start an LDS play and musical theatre company :)
Thanks girls! I know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I feel I should have done more. Now it's my job to make sure my kids always follow their dreams! Hopefully the regrets stop here.
Kasey,
This is your hubby...I am so proud of all that you do. You are such a great mom to the kids. Even though you do get loud sometimes, but hey, that is what makes you, you. All of the shoulda, coulda and woulda's have turned into the Kylee's, Toddy's and a couple more to come. You have so much that you have accomplished and have plenty more that we will accomplish together. I love you and will be here anytime you need me.
I am still amazed at how you stay up on the blog. You are amazing!!!
PS. The picture looks nothing like me...I used her account;0)
Awe, how sweet of your husband to write those things. Kasey, we all get down on ourselves from time to time and when that happens, we just have to remember that we are where we are now BECAUSE of the way our lives went. Think, if you pursued acting and became really big in that, would you have met the Rockster and gotten married and had T and K? Or would you have maybe gotten caught up in the whole acting "Hollywood" scene and maybe lost touch with what's REALLY important? I'm not saying you even WOULD but who knows where you life would have taken you.
We have to always remember that since we are where we are supposed to be and are being blessed beyondmeasure, we must have done SOMETHING right and have done SOMETHING the Lord had in his mighty plan for us.
I think you are right where you are for a reason. A wife, mother, amazing scrapbooker, crafty, fun, beautiful, uplifting, charitable, funny, FUN, a great singer, great actor, aunt, sister, daughter and MY friend.
I LOVE ya girl!
I hear you Kasey! I only have one semester left of college and I can't bring myself to register. To think of all the hours I'll need to spend in the library with 18 year olds makes me vomit :). This has nothing to do with anything, but do you remember how lame we were in jr. high? We always wore boys' No Fear shirts and all loved that boy accross the street, Will?! Ah, see, your life only went up from there!
I think we all feel that way! but I definitely know how you feel, I have many things that I regret, especially in high school! I wasn't in drama but I was on the drum line and there were many times that I could have practiced more or even stood up for myself more! I think that those types of experiences occur to teach us lessons and even though it is very hard, we need to just try to learn from them. I try to tell myself that every time I start regretting things that I have done!
Oh, I feel ya sista!!! I know I could of done a lot better in my younger days. I honetly think you have TONS going for you. You may not have three kids but you take care of THREE kids and you manage to do that, look good, teach preschool, run a home and take classes. I can hardly take care of three kids, run a home and have a calling! You always call me so we can do our visitibg teaching and you really do so much to make other people feel loved! Don't be so hard on yourself... We may not be able to change the past but we can do everything to make each new day the best it can be! :) (Atleast I have to tell myself that)
Oh and you are a preschool teacher to boot! How you have patience for like 10 three to five year olds is beyond me...just another one of your amazing qualities.
First, of all I'm sure we all have regrets. But if this as bad as your regrets get you're living a very good life. Congratulate yourself! And second, it's never too late to do things you wish you would have done.
I totally know how you feel. We all have those "If I only could go back with what I know now" moments. I would do so many things different I think. But at the same time I would be afraid that I wouldn't have some of the great things that I have now because every decision you make affects the path you take. And you have alot of great things in your life.
You rock and your not old. If your old, than I'm old. And I'm not old, so your not old.
You are wonderful and have a whole life ahead of you. You still have time to do whatever it is you want to do. I know it seems it gets harder as we get older, but not impossible. I, like everyone else, have felt what you feel and it's not easy but you have done really well and accomplished many things, and will accomplish many more. This may sound corny but what you are doing is the best thing ever, hard as it is sometimes, and I know that our Heavenly Father is pleased with the choices you have made to have a family and put them first. Hang in there.
Kasey, "You can't put an old head on young shoulders" is an old saying that is so true. You have a very sweet life and should not look back with regrets about what you could have done - which may not have happened the way you now perceive it. You are planning for your future and you WILL get your degree.
Seriously, do you want to trade? I would love to be married for 7 years and have 2 kids rather than have one bachelor degree and halfway through a nursing degree. Maybe we can get someone to forge some documents for us and I will become Kasey Turner and you can be Emily Jones. I would trade in a second.(To have your situation.. I'm not trying to make a move on your husband...:)
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