This is really long, so read at your own risk!

It may seem on the outside I have things all put together.

But really, I just fake it really well.

I don't tend to let anyone really know how I'm feeling.

There are times I do get my feelings hurt, feel alone, and that I don't have any friends.

I'm not the best housekeeper and I may not always be the best wife or mother and it makes me feel bad when it seems everyone else can do it and I can't.

I feel worthless, fat, unappreciated on more days then I care to admit to.

I don't share this for sympathy, I really don't.

I share this because I have been told that I have a seemingly perfect life.

The cold hard truth it that I don't.

No my marriage isn't falling apart, my children are healthy, we have a good job, education, our ward is great, our families are loving and supportive---well mostly...

But I have my demons.

The adversary know my weaknesses and He tests them daily.

I try my hardest to be a good friend, wife, sister, mother, SIL, but my efforts don't always pay off.

That leaves me feeling alone and unworthy of the blessings that I do have in my life.

I'm a pleaser.

Maybe I try too hard.

I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

It's just hard when I know in my heart it's not the way it is, but when my head tells me these things it's hard to make my heart understand.

I read way into things.

I know I have been blessed in more ways than I can count, but this alone doesn't always help.

Good friends have come and gone.

And it wasn't something I wanted, it just happened and somehow I feel like I did something wrong and that I'm not liked, or that I wasn't good enough to be their friend anyways.

It may sound trivial, and I guess it is, but this is where I struggle.

It's been very hard for me to find myself as a wife, mother, and friend.

Many times I fail.

I hate feeling this way so I do put on my happy face and pretend I'm not about to have a breakdown.

My husband is very loving and supportive and he gets me---the things I need to get me through the struggles I have.

Because of this I am able to do a lot of things and be a good friend to those that need it from me.

And maybe this is why people don't always see that underneath it all I am still human and I struggle too.

I know when this is read it's going to sound silly.

I'm well aware of the fact that my issue and my problem really isn't a problem.

But for me it is.

This is my life and my reality.

Sometimes I think having a real trial might be easier than dealing with something so petty.

I tell myself this again and again, but this is my trial.

Feeling unworthy of my blessings and not good enough to have good things happen in my life.

The truth is, aside from the fact I'm not a good housekeeper, I do have a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally.

I do have good friends who are there for me.

I have some pounds to lose, but I'm not fat.

I've been blessed to be a mother to 3 little cuties.

One day my head and my heart will meet and agree, but I'm not there yet.

I'm still going to have to fight my demons, the ones that tell me I'm not worthy.

I think I've shared this little piece of me so that we might be mindful of those around us.

Sometimes on the outside looking in it might seem someone has it all together, but everyone needs a little help sometimes.

Watch for the signs, the ones that scream "I need some help here!"

I'm guilty too, and I try everyday to listen, be aware, and be mindful of others.

They just might need a little of you in their life.