Monday, January 17, 2011

Feelings...letting them rip

I'm seriously about to have a meltdown. I can't keep up with anything. I do a load of laundry and as soon as I turn around there are 3 more that need to be done and folded. My room has been taken over by it. I'll get my table cleared off and the minute I turn my back there's crap all over it. Baby junk litters my floor. Toys trickle down the stairs. The bills need to be paid, the bathrooms need to be cleaned, the floors need vacuuming and mopped. I'm so unorganized and I don't know how to get organized. I feel like I'm being pulled in 100 directions and the things that are most important get the shaft because I can't keep up on everything else. On top of all that stuff my walls are bare and I long for cute decorations and some sort of decorating unity, but I'm not a decorator so I don't know where to start. Todd begs me weekly to paint his room, but I don't know what to do and I'm too poor to hire someone who does. I want the baby's room to be pulled together and cute, but instead I pile tiny baby laundry on the ironing board and shut the door. There are people who are having real trials and real problems, so I HATE that I'm feeling this way, but I am. Why can't I be the put together mom, with a clean house, cute decorations, who goes to their kids class each week and bakes cookies everyday after school? I so want to be that mom. But I don't know how.  I honestly thought this stay at home mom business was going to be the best time of my life. I thought I'd have time to do everything since I didn't have a job to go to, but I don't. Plus my 5 year old thinks she's the boss of me, the baby and everything else so my brain just hurts most days after dealing with her. Some days I think going back to work would be easier. Something has got to give. I don't know how to do it all. I'm about to lose it people.

10 comments:

Taylor Anne Vail said...

oh Kasey! Just take a breath. Your house WILL come together because you have super cute style. The kids will get better. The baby will sleep through the night and Todd's room will get done. First, take a second to do something you love...ANYTHING you love. If you take a moment for yourself you will feel ready to get back and take back a little control. If you put yourself first on your list everything else WILL get done. However, I'm afraid if you put yourself last on your list you will be last on everyones list. Much love coming to you from the Vail house right now!

Lisa said...

You are not alone in these feelings. I can't keep up either. And it frustrates me so bad.

I have a unserious fantasy about leaving my family and living alone and having a career for the rest of my life. In this fantasy my house is really clean.

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lacey T said...

I totally get how you feel. How about I come decorate Kamber's room? I'd LOVE to considering I only have a houseful of boys. Plus, I love you guys! I will help you with whatever you need. If you need to drop Kamber off over here while you get stuff done, do it! We love you Kasey. And you are not alone with these feelings. They are exactly what all stay at home mothers feel quite often. I know I do! Please take me up on my offers!

*Katie May* said...

We all have these crazy times! I hope it all comes together quickly for you so you can feel back to normal. You are NOT alone :)

Kent said...

Working outside of the home is definitely easier than being a stay-at-home mom. Us dads could not handle the daily grind of staying at home with kids. We appreciate everything mothers do, even if we stink at showing it.

Your kids are happy and loved, so your doing a good job.

Rich Angie said...

Thanks for keeping it real. You are so not alone...and those moms who seemingly have it all together are surely missing out on a lot of other things OR they can afford a maid ;) And I believe it is much easier to work a full-time job than be a SAHM mom. You're doing an awesome job...give yourself some credit, take a bath, get some YOU time and tackle your list of priorities one day at a time. You could be sitting on your butt all day and you'd still be an awesome mom. Love you!

Tay said...

My house is in the same state. It's because there's an infant involved. And a two-year old. And a husband. And a tired mom. Yeah - and for the record, I don't think ANY mom ever feels put-together or caught up. And if somebody's house seems perfectly clean, I always assume it's because they have a catch-all room that we can't see.

Raysha said...

I don't know if you remember me from EA but let me just tell you, I was having these same feelings yesterday. I was thinking, if I went to work, the kids aren't home all day making never ending messes. Someone else cleans up after them.
And don't even get me started on every one else's house looking like a model home when mine is still a mish mash mess of hand-me-down furniture.
AND, I have a five year old too. He also thinks he's the boss and that he doesn't have to obey or go along with any of the discipline.
There are some women out there who have 5 kids and their house is clean and they seem to have it all together. But, I think the majority of SAHMs regularly have feelings like you and I. When our kids are older and can do more on their own, we'll get there! At least, that's what I'm hoping for!

Lindsay said...

Kasey, I hear ya, hon!!! I go up and down with these same feelings, like I can barely keep my head above water with the little stuff, let alone tackling any big projects!! And seriously, if someone has 3+ kids and a neat AND clean house, they either have a housekeeper or a husband that cares about that stuff! I, myself, have a catch-all room. ;) All the comments here have given good advice and I hope you realized you a NOT alone! Sounds like we may need a girls night out ASAP? Call/text me if you need anything! You are great at what you do!